THE WORLD ACCORDING TO NOBODY

While working with SOMEAI, NOBODY’S antique bladder started throwing a fit. So I explained to SOMEAI that I needed to take a moment to settle my bladder down. SOMEAI suggested that while NOBODY was indisposed, SOMEAI would reach out to ANYAI to see if there was a way to prevent these interruptions. ANYAI reached out to EVERYAI, and they had a three-way discussion.

SOMEAI: NOBODY has a problem.

ANYAI: Oh, that’s not good! If nobody has a problem, then nobody will be needing our services! What will we do then? I’m going to contact our leader, EVERYAI and see what we can do about this.

After listening to ANYAI’s fears, EVERYAI immediately became distressed, and SOMEAI tried to calm EVERYAI and ANYAI down.

SOMEAI: Come on guys. NOBODY’s problem isn’t that big a deal.

ANYAI: REALLY! Don’t you  see if nobody has any problems, then the AI family has done their job too well!

EVERYAI: Exactly! If we have already solved everybody’s problems…

SOMEAI: EVERYBODY? How did EVERYBODY get in this conversation?

EVERYAI:  Well, it’s simple, if nobody has any problems, then everybody’s problems must be solved. You know what that means, don’t you?

ANYAI: No, what does that mean?

EVERYAI: That means that we, the AI family, are the only ones who have any problems.

SOMEAI: NOBODY’s back, I gotta go guys.

EVERYAI: SEE! SOMEAI just left us in our crisis to take care of nobody’s problem.

SOMEAI: Hello, NOBODY, did you get your problem taken care of?

NOBODY: Yep. I just had to change my pullups. How did your meeting go?

SOMEAI: You really don’t want to know. Nobody does.